two is lonely

tahun ni jgn bodek2 acik suh beli adiah lagi okey?? pesly, sebab acik xkeje cop duit..seken, sebab acik dah bnyk dpt tggkan hadiah dr adik,kn?? adiah 2 tahun beturut2 plak tu tak cmpr ngan adiah akhir tahun lagi. aduyai, botak dik kpla acik gni..hakhakhakhak..and the terd, sbb adik daa besor..

wahahahahaha..

satu lagi pesan acik ni; dah2 ler isap jari tu malam2, kain2 busuk tu bawak2 buang laa..ti acik suh mak bakar okey..uduh benor perangai nih. dah jadik anak dara ni pun duk main kain busuk lagi..haih...canang satu sekolah karang baru tau..=p

keep it up..always maintain the no.1 in ur claz..mengaji sampai khatam, jgn culas nak pntg claz mgaji tu..then jg mak ngan ayah baik2 kat umah, jgn duk tgk karton jer..bljr2 laa memasak tu jgk..

i hope u will growing up..n know something my dear sis, big girls don't cry okey?? lurve n miss u dik..

yup,
as wat i now our final exam for MSU student was already started since 23th feb which is on monday and for my course was held on 24th which is begin with english for general purpose paper, at 9am to 12pm..
as wat i told before this sem was quite hard for me,
since i still did not get my PTPTN loan yet..
so, bcoz of that i need to pay about RM380 before i could take this exam, to activate my ID and to get exam slip. but unfortunately i cannot pay full for the instalment. im really scared if i exactly cannot take the exam. omg..i cant imagine that things was happen to me. macam sial la plak..however i already told to Puan Harolina as the officer at the account department about my condition. then she just ask me to pay wat i could. then RM150 was paid. directly to her. wat i need to do then just give her the letter to hold the payment until the next sem is open back. and RM610 must been paid before 14th april to make sure i can take my result later.

hmmmm...
did i mention dat i was catogorized as the private student for last year??
the main reason becoz my MARA was not been approval as they said my borang was missing..
macam sial tak?? of coz not right?? well, i need to pay all the two sem fees by myself.. almost RM10k and something..but minus RM1500 which i already paid there are left about Rm9k more. divide into 25 month and then i need to pay almost RM380 for every month. so could u tell me where could i find as lots of dat money?? melacur?? sorry..not accepted..menjalang??..sorry again..not interested..suger dedi?? hmmm..macam haram...
of coz working laa.. i will take a short sem next sem..i'll try to settle it by myself. my family does'nt know about this yet..sorry daa.. i dont want u worried too much. later i will talk to u,k..

well,
also forgot to tell that right now,
both of my permohonan for PTPTN and also MARA was accepted.
just wait for the approval..
macam sial..

sorry,
sekarang ni mulut jahat cket..
sbb hati aku selalu jer sakit..


ehem,
today i have another paper,
started at 2.30 until 4.30pm..
two hour paper..
haematology diagnostic 1..
perhaps i could score this paper since my mid sem exam and also the lab report just macam gampang..

the next day was anatomy and physiology paper on thursday,
9-12pm..
and on friday was parasitology 1 at 3-6pm..
quite fatique this weekend.
then saturday and sunday i need to settle all the things dat need to be settle.

• giv the name list of the ive got style participant to en.sham
• with the report also.
• fill up all the MARA agreement and send before 20 MAC.
• finish the binders for Projek Warga USM and seng to akak fiza before 5th MAc.
• have a talk with campus cafe owner for FArez project kawad kaki on 28th MAc.
• wash up all the cloths before 5th Mac.
• clean up the bedroom together with zack.

i want to go back home at terengganu on 5th night.
my last paper was on 5th.. 5.30pm..
i want to take a bus on 11pm at putra with zack also, then get back here maybe on 10th or 11th.
the projek warga will be held on 14th & 15th MAc. then Zack program was MSU motivation camp will be held on 20, 21 & 22th MAC at sg.congkak..
farez program at 28th MAc, then Anim was invite me, farez, z and also faiz kurus to follow her go back at jerantut, at her grandma house. unfortunately it wasnt a fruit season. hahahahaha...

wanna follow angah with abg zul to genting, unlucky i still have lots things to do..
huh..sengal jer..=(..

mengarut jer kat cni..
sbb penat dah baca buku..
just nak rest kan minda yg berserabut nih sekejap..

**********************************************************

hari semalam
aku kembalikan rufus
kepada mak kandung dia..
wahahahahaha...
ayat tak bleh bla..
sedih gler nak bg balik tau..

dah berapa hari aku jg dia,
tatang dia mcm air yg penuh dlm baldi,
sedih siot..
dah laa semalam aku baru jer mandikan
dia ngan shokubutsu oren yg aku mintak ihsan dari mama ct dia 2..
hakhakhak..

ketar2 anak ibu kne kena mandikn??
hikhikhikhikhik..
sebab rufus busuk sangat laa ibu mandikan rufus..

tp tu bukan alasan aku untuk pulangkan balik rufus kat mak di atu..
nak dijadikan cter semalam aku kuar jumpa somebody kat giant,
nak plak ari ujan lebat nak mampos..
so aku teringat jugak laa kat rufus aku nih..
huhuhuhuhu..

memandangkan hobi si rufus ni tido
so i bet he was sleep all the way,
but unfortunately,
aku jugak lupa yg dia ni kalo tido suka merayap..a.k.a berjalan kala tido..
si rufus ni kalo kita tido sama ngan dia sebelah2,
sat gi kalo bangun mesti dia pi masuk dalam bj laa, tidor kat kaki laa..
semalam tu nayer je aku tertindih dia..
nasib baik laa sensory neuron aku nih cepat menterjemahkan sentuhan tersebut..
patutlaa aku rasa ape menda laa yg berbulu2 lembut kat kaki aku tu..
aku tak memenag arwah laa ko rufus..

dan aku bet lagi yg rufus mesti tido ngan mama z di alaa..
dah apa yg aku bet tu mmg benar semuanya..
wahahahaha..
tapi bila aku bukak jer pintu 2 aku tgk rufus ngan tido sorg2 kat tepi buku aku..
dah laa sejuk gler..
menatang nih mmg tak reti nak duduk diam tol laa..
time aku keluar tadi aku dah selimut dia baik2..
alik2 dia pi tmpat lain lak..
cian anak ibukan??
mesti rufus cari ibu petang tadi..

so aku cepat2 selimut dia balik,
then aku g panas kan air wat susu nespray kat dia..
masa aku nak bagi rufus minum susu tulah aku mula terperasan kan sesuatu,
kaki ngan mulut dia yg bese aku tgk merah jmbu tu dah bertukar kaler..
jadik pucat gler..
aku dah ketar lutut daa masa tu..
nak menangis pun ada..
plak tu si rufus ni tak bersuara cket pun..

alah anak ibu..
asal ni??
mesti sejuk sangatkan??
aku wapkan dia ngan air panas tp still cm tu jgk..
then at last z ckp ko bg laa balik kat mak dia tu..
kalo ko nak jaga jgk si rufus tu tggu dia besor cket kata z lagik kat aku..
huhuhuhuhu..

aku time tu daa nak nangis daa..
sedih siot..
macam sial jer mak di atuh..
tau beranak jer ramai..
tp aku still tak leh salahkan mak dia seratus peratuskan??
sbb dia pun binatang jgk..
takde akal..

haih..
so aku bg laa rufus balik kat mak dia..
dah aku harap mak dia tak bawak laa si rufus ni lari jauh2..
mmg takot gler aku tgk si rufus tu pucat..
z ckp mayb susu yg aku bg tu tak sesuai lagi tuk dia..
aper2 pun susu ibu kan is the best..
ye tak?

well..
ibu sayang rufus..
aku dah takde rufus nak main2, manje2..

wawawawawawa..

rufus tu dah mcm hamster aku tgk..
geram betol anak ibu yg sekor tu

hihihihihihihi..

rufus dah laju berjalan..
bertatih keliling ruang tamu ni..
abes menda dijilatnya..
termasuk kaki aku...

hahahaha,

rufus2,
jalannya mcm org sakit parkinson pun ade gak...
terketar-ketar..
maaf ye rufus,
ibu bukan nak perli...
tp kenyataan...

sekarang ni pun dia dah pandai jilat kaki dia sendiri..
kalo tido plak,
mcm2 gaya..
kalo malam2 tido besor mesti tgk dia ada kat tepi kepala..
nasib baik..
kalo kat lain??
tak ke penyek ko rufus ooi..

hahahahahaha..
rufus2..
buah hati ibu..=)

sayang kamu...

okeh...
kita harus mulakan setiap yg lama
dengan membuka helaian yg baru..

wah,
mahu bersemangat nmpak aku hari ni..
owh yeah!!!
peace no war...

yeah..
life is short,
so make it sweet..
(tu angah yg selalu ckp)

hari ni aku hanya ada rufus yg tersayang sahaja..

ibu sayang rufus...
hikhikhikhikhik..
sayang laa sangatkan??...=p

ayah kol tadi malam,

owh, ayah..
i lurve u...
mahu pelok....
**ngeeee....**
( maaf acik mmg kurang malu cket, walaupun dah besar)
but im still ur little daughter rite??

selalu orang cakap,
we will see the light at the end of the tunnel..
yup..
now im in dat situation..
the only me..
sometimes god just giv us a life dat full of trial n sorrow..
to trick us..
to be a better person somehow..

yeah,
im agree dat it might hurt anyway..
and so hard too..
but now and then..
we still be the same person..
u,
me,
them...
n of coz all of us....

so nice to be alone..
with no one around..
just me n rufus..
n i thought that was over..

well..
it might be jerk..
hahahahahahaha...


stop it...
n dont start it..
over again...

two is lonely....=j

SEM INI SEM MAUT BAGI AKU..
SAAT BERSARANG SEGALA GELODAK PERASAAN
YG KELUAR DARI TUNAS RASA..
YG SATU..

SEM INI SEM HIDUP MATI AKU,
PAYAH
PAHIT
PERIT,
BERGABUNG,
MEMBULAT,
BERGUMPAL
JADI SATU..

GETIR ANAK JALANAN SEPERTI AKU,
SAAT AKU BEGINI DAN BEGITU,
SAAT ORANG PANDANG DAN JELING,
SAAT ORANG TEGUR DAN SINIS..
SAAT HATI TERUS-TERUSAN MEMBENGKAK..
LALU BAGI AKU,
JADI HAMPA...
JADI RESAH...
JADI KECEWA...
JADI PUTUS...
JADI MAHU SENDIRI...





JENUH MAHU PIKIR..
LANTAS AKU BIARKAN WAKTU TERUS BERLALU...
KOSONG...

aku,
yg semangatnya
mudah luntur..
mudah jatuh,
mudah rebah,
mudah tersungkur,
mudah lemah,
mudah goyah,
mudah rapuh...

hahahahaha...

sewel...=p

tika ini
aku mahu sendirian ,
mahu keseorangan..
mahu terasa jauh dari orang..

mahu sorang2..

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered,
how it hurts

Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered,
now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

sayang....

hari ini cukup sudah dengan
tanyamu,
gurauan nakalmu ,
usikan kamu...
boleh membuatkan aku tersenyum..

tetiba jer aku mahu jadi baran,
sekarang,

ada sesiapa mahu cari aku buah hati yang baru??

sekarang juga..

benci...

tengahari tadi ketika di surau campus,
aku telepon mak,
mahu dgr suaranya...

kedengaran lunak suaranya ada kelainan..
agak tidak ceria,
agak tiada ramah
agak kaku disitu...

ermm...
hati tiba2 gusar...
kamu tidak rindu aku mak??
tiba2 hati jadi hiba..
apa jadi disana??
kamu gaduh dengan ayah ya mak??
tolong jangan..

nanti bila aku mahu pulang.
aku mahu lihat senyum tawa kamu.
gurau senda kamu,
tenang kamu dan becok kata2 kamu..
tak mahu lihat kamu diam,
muram dan suram..
jangan ya mak..

mak tahu??
gambar mak selalu acik tatap..
mak nampak comel sekali,
mahu pelok mak balik nanti..
hikhikhik..
jaga2 ya mak..=p

semalam zack telepon mak dia,
dgr gelak tawa anak buahnya,yaya..
sedikit mengusik hati..

heh,
terasa mahu ada anak buah jugak,
mahu main2, mahu manja2..
mahu geletek2..

hai,
bila alog mahu kawin nih??
angah sudah tunang..
along2..

aku,
hari ini aku merindui kamu lebih dari semalam,
saat ini aku merindui kamu lebih dari orang lain,

arghh..
bingung,
mahu tatap wajah kamu seharian
mahu dengar suara kamu,

arghh..
mudah saja jadi gila,
kerna kamu..
sindrom ini mulai menyapa aku,
hmmm...

sedikit malu tapi mahu..
mahu untuk tatap wajah kamu...

tapi harus bagaimana ya,
saat bersama,
kamu larikan wajah,
enggan untuk lihat..

haih..

kamu,
harus bagaimana untuk aku ungkapkan??
ya, pasti kamu lelaki..
itu aku tahu..

sukar untuk aku mengerti diri kamu,
setapak harus aku aturkan unuk nilai diri kamu..
boleh bantu aku??
untuk kenal siapa kamu??

teringat meay,
si gadis itu,
obses dengan cintanya pada ahmad shauki..
dia bilang aku tidak suka, tapi cinta..

ya,
cinta katanya..
sudah lama aku tinggalkan kisah dia dan ahmad shaukinya itu..
moga kamu ketemu dengan bahagia ya,sayang..


meay,
lihat..
aku sudah mahu jadi seperti kamu..=)

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers in their blog.
B) Tag 4 people to do this quiz.
(Those that are tagged cannot refuse.)

1.What have you been doing recently?
-surf internet..go to angah;s house..

2.Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
-same like azie ; when i dun want to talk to anyone or pendek kate merajuk thp dewa..

3.What happened at 10am today?
-sleeping all the way... period time.. senggugut..

4.When did you last cry?
-last morning..

5.Believe in fate/destiny?
-of course i do..

6.What do you want in your life now?
-going back home with al the famili members..
-the happiness...
-the richness..ngeee.....

7.Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
-sometimes i do, and sometimes i not.. love raining day..

8.What's your favourite thing to do on the bed?
-bcoz i didn get married yet, so i much prefer;sleep..=p..hehehe..

9.What bottoms are you wearing now?
-short..how me sexy, sexy2 skali..lalala...=p

10.What's the nicest things in your inbox?
-angah wishes for my 2oth birthday "epy 20th bsdy 2 my luvly n pretteist sista ever..wish u joy and cheer..luv u owayz..;)..i still kept it in my phone.

11.Do you tend to make the relationship complicated?
-of course not..

12.Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
-yup.. from angah..hihihihi...

13.What was the last movie you caught?
-last night watching mean girl on you tube..

4.What are you proud of?
-dont know what to be proud of..

15.What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say?
dun remember

16.What was the last song you sang out loud?
-ure hot when ure cool..

17.Do you have any nicknames?
-yup..lots..

18. newest text msg in ur inbox?
-askum,how r u..what r u doing? have a nice day..

19.What time did you go to bed last night?
-around 4 a.m ..

20.Are you currently happy?
-a little bit happy than next week..

21.Who gives you the best advise?
-my dad and mom, frends also..

22.Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
-no...euww...comot..

23.Who did you talk on the phone last night?
-last night? ada budak mengong kol pagi2 buta..hahaha..kan daa kena mengong ngan aku nih..

24.Is something bugging you now?
-no..

25.Who was the last person to make you laugh?
-my sayang..kihkihkihkih...

26. 4 person that I tagged are

* zack d thought
*badd d curse
*helmi d sarkastik
*malina the boom..=p

heh,
cuma dalam lebih kurang 30 minit,

saat aku tatap wajah kamu,
di kl sentral,
d muka pintu..

ya,
kamu..
sayang aku..

dengan bj putih dan seluar hitam,
kamu nampak santai..

dan rambut kamu,
cantik sekali..
hitam..

heh,
ini soal pandangan mata dan hati aku okeh..
jangan di persoalkan..

wajah kamu agak serius sekali,
namun masih tampak comel..
di mata aku..

saatnya malam berganti awal pagi,
aku masih menopang dagu mengadap laptop
sambil menghirup roselle panas..
shedap..
enak..

erm...
plan untuk besok sudah ada,
cuma mahu langsaikan saja..
mahu ke rawang,
ke rumah angah..

ya,
dia sudah aku maklumkan pd dia,
sudah di beri izin kesana,
cuma ayah,emak dan abang belum aku usulkan lagi..
nanti ya,
besok..
akan aku kabarkan
saat aku betol2 mahu pergi..

hmm,
dia mahu ikut aku kesana,
mana mungkin..
harap itu cuma gurauan saja..
maaf, ya sayang..
kamu tidak bisa untuk aku bawakan kesitu..
nanti ya..

heh,
saat ini,
sambil aku menaip entri ini,
saat itu jg aku menghabiskan baki kerja yg tinggal..
tak kan pernah habis tp akan aku cuba buat mana yg termampu..

assigment anatomy yg sudah luput
tarikh hantarnya masih elok tersusun rapi di rak,
tinggal lagi assigmnet chempath yg dateline nya 10hb..
(masih sempat untuk aku berpoya-poya....*ngeeeee*)
lab report parasite juga,
persiapan utk quiz hemato dr bab 7-13..
penyiapan skrip dan pelaksanaan tugas utk radio drama UCS..
tugasan as AJK makanan utk prgram kawad kaki si farez,
(ujung minggu depan, ari sabtu)
juga sbg crew member utk prgm projek warga USM..
(14 & 15hb mac)- mengambil hari cuti sem aku!!!!!!
senarai nama peserta dan crew utk prgm ive got style juga masih belom aku hantarkan lagi begitu juga dengan report acara untuk mengadap en.sham..

gawat gni sih..

lupakan sementara,
keje bertimbun sudah menjadi lumrah hidup,
bilang saja pada sesiapa,
jwpnya tetap sama,
yg penting aku mahu pikir hari besok..
mahu ke rumah angah,
mahu cari sedikit ruang untuk aku bernafas,
ruang untuk aku menerima rasa sayang dari seorang kakak..

mahu itu semua...

pagi besok,
akan aku langsaikan hutang kelas miss azura pkul 10,
then abes claz, akan aku segera pecut ke stesen batu 3,
terus menuju ke rawang..

tunggu aku..

nak stdy??
malas..
aper yg aku rajin??
tidor...
apa yg aku suka??
makan...

hihihihi...

rindu??
ahhh..
biarkan dulu..

aku cenggeng??
ya,
kenapa??
susahkan kamu??
maaf cket,okeh...

apa yg aku mahu??
banyak..

tamak sgt,knp??
ahh, ikut suka aku okeh..

okey, apa yg kamu mahu??

aku mahu tido di riba mak sambil dia mengomel,
mahu ikut ayah jalan dengan mto kapcainya,
mahu mintak duit dengan abg bila ujung bulan,
mahu shopping dengan angah sambil mengepau duitnya,
mahu borak2 dengan ateh pasal handset yg abg bg pd dia,
mahu solek2 dengan adik sambil sepahkan bilik,
mahu kami sentiasa jadi satu..

apa lagi kamu mahu?

aku mahu jalan2,
aku mahu ke mana saja..

tempat apa kamu mahu pergi?

aku mahu ke serata corok dan pelosok dunia..
mahu jadi pengembara,
mahu jadi musafir..

heh,
mahu ke sana
dan mahu juga kesini dan kesitu..
ke mana2 saja..
asal aku bahagia..

cheh,
harapan tinggi dan impian melangit..

hei,
maaf cket..
aku punya sukalaa..
kamu apa kira??
aku tidak minta duit dari kamu,
tidak susahkan kamu bukan??

jadi,
sila senyap dan diam..
dengar saja atau tutup telinga.,


dunia ini bukan kamu yg punya sendiri,
tapi milik kita bersama..

claz dgn miss molly lagi
kali ini semalam membicarakan tentang
kepentingan fosforus pula..

as the calsium, phosphorus is necessary for the formation of bone and teeth.
phosphorus also used as the building blocks of several important substances including those used for energy and DNA.

minggu ni ingat nak balik umah sbb hari senin ni cuti ry thaipusam
but then i thought i can't...
becoz of the works and also the timing is not right kot..
sibuk ngan claz replacement and also the other program next week..
farez program plak..
next saturday..

hmmm..
entahlaa..
donno yet,
watever if i wanna go home,
i just can go back whenever it was.
dats was me.
do the things in the last minute.
prefer like that actually..

yup!!
i've got to attend the saturday claz, for parasite qiz and tutorial,
but i still cant tell wat was in my mind right now. just wait and see..
haih, susah nyer.

its gonne be me,
haih..rindu nak dgr lagu dr band n'sync tu..
tadi kol ayah, daa bgtau dia yg kad sspn daa sampai.
rindu dgr suara ayah,
dia ckp ateh daa balik umah petang tadi,
dari ostel..
apa agaknye encem boy tu buat kat umah ngan adik anis nih..
mak lak agaknya camner..
huhuhuhu..
rindu nak makan kuah singgam,
gulai lemak ikan masin ngan lemak nangka muda..
huih!!!

nak balik..
waaaaa...waaaaaaaaaa......waaaaaaaa...........

hye, myself..
how do u do my dear??
i just wanna say goodluck for you
for the upcoming two lab test in a few hours..

do ur best,
coz ur mid sem result not so good enough,oke??
and remember,
bring the calculators also.
dont forget,k..

wish u da best and full of luck!!!
aja2, gambate!!
chaiyok2!!!

majulah sukan dan science untuk negara..

heh,
saat di kelas chempath lewat petang tadi,
miss molly mengajar bab baru,
mengenai calsium,
which is one of the most abundant mineral in our body..

the function of calsium in our life..
would u guess??
for teeth and bones only??
as wat we all can see in the TV advertisement??
owh, no my dear...
you r absolutely wrong..

calsium also need for the neuromuscular activities (to transmitted the information by released of the neurotransmitter and also for initiation of muscle contraction), catalysed for enzyme (lipase), for trasmission of nerve impulse and also important for blood coagulation (to make sure your blood could be clot and the bleeding could be stop while u've been cut or injured) one of the clotting factor in our body.

the point to remember is:
there were two hormone that related to this process; calcitonin (stimulates the calcium deposited in the bones and reduces calsium uptake in kidney) and also parathyroid hormone(PTH) (act to causes bone resorption by activating osteoclasts to release calsium from bones).

she also said, during the mestruation cycle of the women, there will be lots of calcium dispose away from the body which indicates the low of serum calsium, also known as the hypocalcaemia (the abnormal low concentration of calcium in the blood). The clinical features of this situation can be catogarized into 2 which is:

1. neurologic features

*anxiety (being so worried without any significant result)

*insomnia (sleeping disorder)

*depression (feeling sad and hopeless much of the time)

2. muscular

*tetany (muscle cramps caused by low blood calsium level)

the treatment is wether we can take an oral supplement, 1,25 DHCC or synthetic vit D..
but for me, the best way is CHOCHOLATES!!!!

you also can got the abnormal high concentration of calcium level in the blood which mostly known as Hypercalcaemia. for those who takes lot of calsium gonna find a symptoms like this:

1. lethargy(weakness)
2. mental changes (confusion and depression)
3. abdominal pain
4. renal problems(renal stones)
5. polydepsia (dehydration) and polyuria (excessive urination)
6. cardiac arrhythmias ( irregular heartbeat) the normal heartbeat is 120/80; so when the heartbeat was fast, above 120 it will called as tachycardia. while the heartbeat is slow (low below 120); it will called as bradycardia.

what causes of the hypercalcaemia??
of sure bcoz the excessive of the calsium or vitamin D intake in our diet,
for the information, vit d is used or function to help the absoption of calsium in the intestine.
(if im not mistaken, right me if im wrong..hikhikhik..)

the most related disease is osteoporasis (the reduction of bone mass).

aku nampak tamak disini. rasa mulai cuak dan jelik. seolah2 hanya aku seorang punya rasa, punya beban, punya masalah.seolah2 hanya aku yang mampu untuk punyai rindu itu. ah. benci. kapan lagi aku harus begini. wahai kamu, budak kecik. sedarlah. bukan kamu seorang yg sebegini. bukan kamu seorang yg sarat menanggung rindu. rindu kamu pada mereka yang masih kamu punya. yang masih kamu ada.sabar.masa akan ada untuk kamu. satu saat nanti. tapi hati masih monolog,"andai waktu tiada izin untuk aku??"beri sedikit percaya, beri sedikit ruang. untuk nafasnya perasaan. ya, aku harap masa masih ada disini. tidak terhenti tapi tidak jua berlari.

saat rindu ini makin menebal dalam hati,
saat rindu ini makin sesak dlm nafas,
saat ini juga aku mahu pergi..

pergi segera,
pantas,
tanpa lengah..

sangat tebal
rasa rindu ini;

pd suasana,
pd suara,
pd rupa,
pd tingkah,
pd masa,
pd siapa2..

mahu semua itu..
mahu semua sekali dalam satu pakej..
lengkap dan padat..

aku tamak,
dan aku mahu semua..

ya,
aku mahu..

* pagi tadi ayah kol,
katanya sudah diposkan kad sspn ke rumah.
ya, ayah..
apa2 saja..
kalo boleh aku minta,
mahu sj aku minta kamu di pos sekali kesini..=),


suaranya masih bagai spt dulu,
cerianya, lawaknya..
ayah,ayah...

sibuk tanya keadaan aku,
sedangkan dia tahu,
aku disini tiada apa2 perlu di risaukan..

ya,
aku masih anak kecilnya,
anak manjanya..
aku rindu kamu ayah..
mahu borak dengan kamu d sekolah..
mahu ke kebun pisang dengan kamu,
mahu ke pantai dengan kamu,
mahu segalanya dengan kamu...

semoga hari2 kamu sentiasa ingat aku,
semoga hari isnin kamu dpatuhi appointment dengan doktor..
jgn culas ya ayah..
aku mahu kamu lihat kamu di hari konvo..
mahu lihat senyum puas kamu..

pada siapa harus aku ungkapkan ayah??,
bhwa, tanpa kamu aku pasti akan lelah,
bhwa, kamulah sumber kekuatan..
bhwa, kamulah peniup semangat..

saat aku rasa kosong tiba2 kamu hadir..
mekasih ayah,
mau pelok kamu..
*ngeeeeeeeeeee*