Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.
Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.
Never look in the eye when all you do is nothing!
*sigh*
+(Small).jpg)
(out of blue)
this is an award that i've keep it long in my pic folder. Cause i just make it here today, i proudly said that i accept this award from my best friend of me, HANS! ^^
Bnyk perkara yg berlaku kebelakangan ni. macam-macam benda yg terjadi. dan tak sempat nak update kat sini. haih,, busy dengan kuliah,(tapi xpe kuliah semua bakal berakhir! YEAY!!) busy dgn nak atur hidup sendiri lagi. completely exhausted. damn tired.
owh, ye!
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!! ^^
i'm gonna quite slow updating this blog,, next week gonna be my last exam! double YEAY!! kekeke~~
so minggu ni dah busy dengan quiz, presentation, lab test and submission for the lab report. Huhuhuhu,, ponat macam nih.
p/s: Hans! didi tak sempat nak letak award tuh. next time i will, will, will put it here okaih?? don't be mad, dear. i'm so proud to get that award. :))))
memang saya sedang hidup, sedang bernyawa dan sedang bernafas kencang!
tapi dalam hati sedang mati, perlahan-lahan.
hati mati, dan jiwa lesu.
tuhan, tolong tunjukkan saya jalan.
mohon utk ke entah berapa kalinya. (T.T)
kadang- kadang terasa nak menangis tanpa sebab yang penting.
case I
sabtu lepas saya balik rumah mak ngan ayah, just for one day. kami gerak malam. angah drive. kami lalu highway yg panjang dan sungguh boring. sbb angah mengantuk, dia suruh saya drive. ok,, saya mmg xde lesen and it was my first time driving a car. fortunately it was an auto. i get so excited.
urm, saya adalah pemandu haram di jalan raya ;p
but then tetiba saya rasa nak menangis, betapa dia begitu percayakan saya yg tiada pengalaman langsung ni supaya bawa kereta. dia percayakan saya! teringat masa mula2 dia ajar saya naik motor. i was totally lost at that moment. tp dia laa yang ajar saya macam-macam. survival skill.
yang xsemua sanggup nak ajar.
yang xsemua ada masa saya perlukan.
and then, i hold my tears again.
dan masa tu saya rasa dia sungguh independent. my unni was so kool. ;D
case II
tadi bila dinner ngan kawan-kawan kat kedai makan di TTDI adalah sorang adik tuh datang and then explain something (a kind of nak mintak derma). it was so sad, that a young teenager was doing that things. dik, korang kena pegi sekolah tahu x? bukan kena buat kerja mintak derma pegi meja ke meja orang tengah makan.
i hate to see that. :'(
sedih, and tetiba masa makan tuh terasa nak menangis. but then, i hold on my tears.
kawan2, ini adalah kehidupan.
P/s: saya masih ada seorang abang, tp kenapa saya rasa macam saya xde? where he was when i needed him the most?
dan perlu ke saya ade sebab yg lain utk menangis?
there are so much that no one can tell. *gloomy*
besok, ada lab cyto. jam 10pg.
and another 1 kelas sampai jam 7 malam. :(
owh, naseb baik lab bukan start pukul 8pg. Heran sebab dulu-dulu mase kecik2, standard budak tadika mak bangun subuh pun sekali ikot gerak bangun. sama macam sekolah rendah ngan menengah. Kalo dengar jam loceng ayah bunyi terus automatik bangun. Kalo ayah dah masuk bilik air i'm goona be the second after him. ahahaha. ayah tak garang, tp dia sangat strict kalo masuk bab bangun pagi. kami lima beradik memang macam ni,dulu laa. masa kecik2. hihi ^^
sekarang sebab dah duduk jauh dari parent jadi semakin liat nak bangun pagi even pagi2 xde keje nak buat selain kene pegi kelas (tu pon bukan hari - hari ade kelas pagi). kalo duduk kampung, jangan ade yang tidur lepas subuh, kalo x dengar laa mak cik enon bebel sampai tengahari karang. ahahaha :P
and no wonder why la kalo sekarang balik kampung adik2 pon dah terbiasa bangun pagi time sekolah. kadang2 pukul 5.30pg pon diorang dah bangun and then pi sekolah jam 6. paling lewat pon 6.30 kot. huish, kelas start kol 7.45. maybe diorng sambung tidor dalam kelas kot. ahahaha. kalo pukul 7 ade kat umah lagi siaplaa diorang kena bebel ngn ayah. thats y laa sonok duk jauh ngan family ni. xkena bebel banyak2 mcm adik yg duk kat umah. ahahahaha.. [evil laugh]
but i miss the situation soo much.
insyaAllah minggu depan kalo jadi nak balik kampung lagi. so xsabar nak dengar mak ngan ayah bebel. kekekeke ~~
owh, you know what? sekarang saya jarang tdo awal, paling awal pon pukul 1.
is that insomnia? (*.*)
owh, saya xmahu! jam biology saya dah rosak. and i can't sleep as the normal people. :'(
bad, bad, bad... i think i need to drink a up of milk before going to sleep. (^.^)V
i need to re-organise mylife!
hari ni malas rasanya nak keluar melihat dunia. duk umah mengadap laptop ni mungkin lagi bagus.
haish, depress2!
jap lagi baru nak revise subjek semalam. ^^
tanpa sedar, ini adalah minggu terakhir di bulan june. arghh! it was already in the middle of the year. *slap my cheeck* sedar didi! woke up2!! :P
hari ni saya ade buat satu "tabung masa lalu" ataupon capsule time. influence dari cter korea. actually, saya rasa sangat bosan hari ni, so tetiba datang laa idea bodoh macam ni. i hope it going to work out !
p/s: don't put a blame on me, hihihi. :P
i will put a brief note of what i've been through everyday into this capsule time's bottle. it's going to be more interesting bila masa akan datang saya bukak dan baca balik ape yang saya tulis. ahahaha. sound silly,rite? but i like it. well,, it was some kind of memory that i try to keep becoz i am afraid someday i will lost all of my good memory about myself, about mylife. so i think i better try this method.
can't wait to pass another 1 year to read all of that notes.
p/s: Owh, 1 more year coming means i am growing 1 year more older. huhuhu~~ but it's okey.
^-^v
p/s: i hope my friend, hans will follow what i do. kekeke ^^
seriusly, saya tak pandai buat kawan.
kalo setakat say hi!, hello! yes, i agree i excellent at that. ahaha. poyo!
to restrain those friends i've made was a big problem for me. :(
betol! saya xpandai buat kawan. i donno how to treat them wisely. sebab tu petang tadi bila saya dapat mesej dari kawan satu course, Miza yg tanye saya balik umah lepas abes kelas dengan ape, lalu saya jawab just by walking and then dia balas bagitau yang lepas ni dia suh tumpang naik kereta ngan dia and because of that im felt so touch.
sebetulnya, saya xde kawan yang sangat rapat dlm 1 course. kawan hanya atas dasar belajar dalam 1 jurusan, not more than that. im rarely hang out with them. so bad. see how bad i am in making friends? im not so good. im envy with someone whose have their friends around. :(
however because of her, i felt relief for being accepted. i hope to make a good memory for this last sem together with them. hopefully. ^^
first day going to new campus for this last sem for taking the schedule and meeting friends.
on the way go back home passing the park and times for taking piture.
tadaaaa.. ^^
You touched my trembling hand
For the first time
And I finally experienced
A gentle feeling of warmth
I opened the window that had been shut
And a new wind blew in
Laughing, crying, meeting you
The world I saw began to shine
Under the sun where the sunflowers swayed
I felt the wind, I felt you
Believing, being lost,
And stopping short, and everything
Maybe it’s all an answer
To why I’m alive here and now
Let my monochromatic days
Take on colour
Laughing, crying, meeting you
The future ahead of us was shining
Under the sun where the sunflowers sway
I sing about tomorrow as I am
How much can we love each other
In this unstoppable time, these limited days?
We can love each other, right?
When you're here, I don't even turn away from the light
Laughing, crying, meeting you
The future ahead of us was shining
Under the sun where the sunflowers sway
I sing about tomorrow
I want to say thank you, I can say it now
I won't forget the seasons we’ve spent
Like the sun the sunflowers sway under
My song will shine on you
For you, as I am...
talk to me and i will stand still tO listen to u.
b strOng, n i'll try tO fix u.
Could it be the world's gone colder?
Maybe, I'm a losing soul
The more I try it just gets harder
And my pain is getting old
Somebody said that nothing lasts forever
Just the storm so I've been told
But it seems that when it rains it pours
sometimes my burden get sO heavy,
And you know the rain won't last forever
And you know the storm won't always flow
But if the sun don't shine forever
You gotta let it go
Sometimes my burdens get so heavy
And it seems too hard to bear
Sometimes I feel so empty
And it feels like no one's there
Somebody said that nothing lasts forever
Just the storm so I've been told
But it seems that when it rains it pours
And you know the rain won't last forever
And you know the storm won't always flow
But if the sun don't shine forever
You gotta let it go
And you gotta let it go...
And you gotta let it go...
